Rev. Dr. Bary R. Fleet - Pastor
July 13, 2008 – 9th Sunday after Pentecost
Genesis 25:19-34
Romans 8:1-11
Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23

All in the Family

One of the interesting aspects of the Hebrew Bible, the Old Testament, is the way in which it depicts families with all their human frailties. People aren’t dressed up and presented with nice, clean-cut, unambiguous piety. No, as we read the stories, we see the best and the worst of the human dynamics of being together in family.

Families take on all different shapes – even in our own church family, we have almost every conceivable family “shape.” The only one I could think of that is missing is a “single dad.”

But beyond that, there are all sorts of family dynamics. Almost all of us have a family “black sheep” … the one who never comes to family reunions, the one who is a bit of a misfit, the one who is just different. And then, there are the “family secrets,” the people, the events that we just don’t talk about … the illegitimate child, the mistress, the alcoholic or drug addict.

Yet, from the beginning of the created world, family has always been one of the greatest blessings people could possibly have. Whether this means our “family of origin,” or the family we now have, or our family of friends, to have a sense of belonging to a group of people who share our life and journey isn’t something we should take lightly. As long as we have a family, however that family is defined, we’re not entirely alone in this world.

As the story of Isaac and Rebekah unfolds, we see a family that have been brought into being by God, but who have yet to figure out what it means to have God at the center of family life. Rebekah left her home to make the journey to Isaac all because Abraham’s servant had told her a story that showed this to be God’s will. Clearly, Rebekah was the one chosen by God not only to become the wife of Isaac, but also to take her place in the on going saga of the creation of a people for God.

But …. knowing that God has been at work to bring certain events into being doesn’t necessarily guarantee that we will continue to live with an awareness of God’s presence in those events. Rebekah was barren, and – according to scripture - it took Isaac’s prayer for God to open her womb. She became pregnant with twins, and their struggle in her womb was so intense, she asked God: What’s going on and why?

God gave her an explanation, but the scripture doesn’t record the answer. I suspect that she shared this information with her husband … I think it is pretty common for wives to talk to their husbands about their experiences of pregnancy, especially the first one.

Even so, it is clear that this couple didn’t order their lives around the purposes of God – not when it came to their sons. Isaac favored Esau and Rebekah favored Jacob, and that kind of parental favoritism always causes disharmony in a family. Many of us know: some of us have been that favored child, and others of us have been the one left-out. There is also the matter of the father’s blessing and birthright which traditionally goes to the first-born.

At this point, the scripture doesn’t put anybody in this particular family in a favorable light.

Like any good gift, the gift of family can be misused. It can become the focus of our lives to the point that we have trouble seeing God. We make our families the reason for our living and the goal of everything we do.

If we look at the expectations we have of our children – our desire to have them live in a certain way – it is clear that some of these expectations come from our need to validate us as parents. When we demand certain things of a spouse or a partner are we seeking affirmation of ourselves? We have a difficult time allowing people in our families to walk their own journeys, to make their own mistakes, and to choose to live a life that is different from what we want for them. We want them to see the world the way we do, to value what we value, to find meaning in the same things in which we find meaning. We want them to handle their vocational and emotional challenges the way we do. Why?

I think it is because we want our families to reflect well on us … we want them to help us feel good about ourselves. Maybe God has something altogether different in mind for those we love, and our job isn’t to make clones of ourselves but to nurture them to be who God created them to be.

That’s what Laurel’s baptism was really about this morning. Tim and Colleen brought her to this sacred place and in essence acknowledged that Laurel is not “their” child in the sense of belonging … but ultimately, she belongs to God. This was their way of saying that … and our way as a congregation to say that we recognize this baby as part of our family, God’s family.

Our hope is that one day when she is old enough, she will realize that she belongs to this family of God’s … she will take on that identity.

The point of all this talk today about families has to do with whom or what it is that we shape our lives around. Are we shaped by our fears and limitations? Are we shaped by how something might reflect on us … or can we take pride in what God is doing – both in our lives and in the lives of those we love? Do we live in a family that has room for everybody – a family that welcomes home the “black sheep” … the one who chooses a different path, or is there only room for those who look and act like us. Are we able to see focus our family life around what God is doing … or is that too scary? … are we secure enough to do that?

My hope and prayer for all of us is that we will live in our families the way God has called us … and that we, as a church family, will always be thinking about what God is doing through us and asking us to do for and with each other.

NOTE: This sermon is credited entirely to The Clergy Journal (March 2008): 26 – 27.

SERMON IN A SACK: a deflated balloon. Talk about which is more fun to play with … a balloon / ball that is filled with air, or one that is flat. Talk about how Paul says that some people choose to live lives in their own way, and others choose to live life in God’s way. When we fill ourselves with the Holy Spirit it is like putting air in the balloon, and our lives are much more fun and enjoyable.